Another semester...

Well, I made it through another semester...somehow. By God's grace, I suppose.

This summer was full of the busyness of 3 classes and working in the lab which provided me an assistantship. ohhhh...and lots of therapy. And a 2 new roommates. And 1 new dog. And lots of reading. And lots of music. And... Waumba Land, of course. Let's see...anything else??

Fortunately, I feel like the latest storm has passed, although it took a whopping 6 months, I'd say. At least. Sure, I'm feeling better now, but there's always a fear of when the next storm will hit. And as in every one, I always fear that I won't be able to make it through even one more. I have certainly had some experiences...

Oh, and did I forget to mention the latest possible diagnosis as a part of my list of summer events?? Well, it is the latest piece of the puzzle of my life, I suppose. BPD. I was quite taken aback when it came up actually, and yet it fits perfectly. Well, almost perfectly. I have read a couple of books on it now, including "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me" and "Get Me Out of Here". The latter is one of the best books I've ever read when it comes to a memoir that I can relate to. I don't exactly know how to explain it. I've taken a lot of notes, and it's brought up a lot of feelings and thoughts. Maybe when I finish it I will write some sort of summary or include some sort of list of quotes I strongly relate to.

So, just a few days off before yet another semester begins. I pray that the coming school year will be much better than the last. Not just scholastically, but personally/emotionally. I dont' think I can handle another catastrophic thought taking over my rational mind.

I'm doing my best not to text or email Dr. K, but it has proven to be quite a challenge. I don't know why I still feel the need to. In addition, I am obsessed with several people who have been or are a part of my life. I dont' know why these ideas are dominating my mind so much. I even fear the time when I will move away and no longer see Dr. K. This is a relatively long way off, too.

Well, I better wrap it up. I dont' want to necessarily open a can of worms tonight. Just thought I'd get a few thoughts down.

Until next time,
me