Damn Dreams...Repressing Feelings.

Oh how I feel like ass. Anxiety and nausea are taking over for some reason. I am almost sure that I am not anxious about finals. I am almost finished, and feeling quite apathetic about them, anyways. I don't know if it is in anticipation of going to my parent's house for almost a month (yikes that IS a long time), seeing Frank, or dealing with feelings that I haven't told anyone about- at least not this time. I keep pushing them away, but they keep resurfacing. Damn them! I can't stop dreaming about her. I just took a nap, and I dreamed that she woke me up kissing me, as I was laying in the exact same position on my bed. I knew it couldn't have been true. But she said it was. In the dream that is. She said I wasn't dreaming, that K was gone and she knew about my feelings but she didn't know what to do until now. Damnit. Damnit. Damnit. I realized I was dreaming and I couldn't get out of it. I could not wake myself up. I tried and tried, and finally, I was awake, knowing I was just dreaming again. How could I possibly dream that intensely when I had just laid down to take a nap less than 2 hours previously?? I've got to clear my head. I just took another Ativan, but I am hoping that I will just be able to relax enough to be productive and not fall asleep. Think think think...of other things...